What Did I Come Here for Again?

WHAT DID I COME HERE FOR AGAIN?

"The energy that we have given a negative spin will also return to us. Perhaps we will be on the receiving end of the same kind of selfish act or harsh word we sent forth. Maybe we will find ourselves in a situation where we must give ourselves to those we have ignored in the past. Whatever the case, we will once again have the opportunity to make the choice: Will we put a positive or negative spin on our thoughts, our words and our deeds?"
From KARMA AND REINCARNATION by Elizabeth C. Prophet

Whether or not you believe in the concepts of Karma  and  Reincarnation is a moot point, which means that it is UN-arguable. There are many examples of it in various religious books around the world. "What goes around, comes around," "You reap what you sow," ...are sayings we all have heard and are very familiar with. And I, personally have seen first hand how mistreating someone can come back on you, and how treating people well can be beneficial to you. What does all of this have to do with marriage?

Again, we need a definition: 1. The FORMAL union of a man and a woman (two people) typically as recognized by LAW, by which they become husband and wife. 2. The combination or mixture of elements. Obviously, there have been some changes to this definition over the last hundred years or so, regarding legality, personalities, locations, etc. However, the second part of the definition has not changed...a mixture of elements. But, it is exactly what those elements are that has changed also. Two people may have come together to work out their individual or their collective KARMA. They may have come together to bring a particular child's soul to earth. Whether you believe in KARMA AND REINCARNATION or not, is not important. What's important is that we are here on Earth to learn lessons from one another and the situation of being married (even just dating) is the perfect environment for our souls to get some great SPIRITUAL EXERCISE. When two people live together, they cannot help but learn about human relations from one another.  That...My friends is the purpose of Marriage.

Modern life is extremely complicated and stressful. Living well in this time of history is difficult to say the least. However, there are a few things that people can do to make life a bit easier. 1. Get a good education. 2. Learn to stay healthy , even if you are ill or disabled you can learn healthier living. 3. Acquire Spiritual information and training. The influences of our childhood and parents has much to do with our approach to these elements, however as adults we can make our own decisions about how we choose to do this. I am not going to suggest that you study any particular religion or philosophy. What I am going to tell you is that WITHOUT an education in various subjects, you become a very dull, and uninteresting person indeed. You also run the risk of becoming subjected to many negative influences which I have explained previously is something we are trying to eliminate. Therefore, the more educated and sophisticated we become about the world, the easier it becomes to SHARE our ideas, goals and views with others.

Marriage is the MUTUAL ATTRACTION of two people's views about the world. I am not making any moral judgements here. What I am saying is that unless your view of the world is compatible to that of your partner's, you are going to have some serious problems. And, don't think that you are going to change someone's views and opinions...that is not your place. If someone does not agree with what you think or believe...keep it moving. NEXT!!

Making the choice of whether or not to have children is extremely personal. Children are born under very different circumstances, for very different reasons. I could, and I have written several books about what happens when children are not raised properly. I cannot go into the subject completely in this forum. All I am going to say is this:

1. Children should never be used as tools for creating, maintaining or ending a relationship. To do so, is called child abuse in the worse form.
2. A child cannot keep two people together who are not meant to be together.
3. Children should never be used as pawns in any legal proceeding.
4. No one should use another person as a baby-making machine, just because they want a child in their lives. Babies don't stay babies forever...they grow into adolescents and adults with problems.
5. If you do not know how to raise a child properly you should forget about having children, period.
6. If you cannot provide a good life for your child because of the lack or education, resources, family support or you have severe health issues, you should reconsider having children.
7. The decision to bring a child into the world should never be taken lightly. They are not pets...You can't take them to the pound, or back to the hospital, or the baby store when things don't go the way you planned. It is, and should be a decision that will affect you for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHILD'S' LIFE, TOO!!

Mixing your FINANCES with another person is a major issue because essentially, that was the original purpose for marriage. Legal marriage is a fairly recent innovation. 100 years ago most people had common-law unions in which names, homes, money and parental responsibilities were shared, willingly and happily without problems. It was the more affluent citizens who needed the legal contracts to "insure the equitable distribution of assets" in case of divorce, or death of the parties. Today marriage is actually a two-fold proposition...the spiritual or religious ceremony...and, the legal paperwork. You can have either one without the other, but you cannot resolve any legal issues without the paperwork. This goes much deeper than giving up half of your assets in the event of a divorce, it has to do with parental responsibilities, health issues, education, residences, employment disruptions, and a host of other problems that could well be avoided by CHOOSING WISELY!

The most important issue involved in successful marriages is...yes...SEX! Again, I cannot do a thorough discussion of marital sexual issues in this forum. All you need to remember is this: SEX MAKES BABIES, DUH! Protect yourself, get frequent STD screenings, learn to please your partner while pleasing yourself. Communicating BEFORE SEX actually makes communicating AFTER SEX much easier. Never use sex as a weapon...never use sex for revenge...never use sex to conquer the genders...never use sex to prove your sexuality. Be honest with others and yourself about what your sexual needs and issues are...and get help with those issues, if necessary. 

I won't go into the issue of infidelity here because my personal views are very different than other people's, and are not important. I will say this: if your mate cheats or if you cheat on them, THERE IS A REASON! Investigate the reason, and find a solution. Don't let anger and resentment build and grow because naturally, it will destroy the relationship.

When we are young we are concerned about sexual issues and children. As we age, we turn our focus toward career maintenance and financial issues. When we are older the focus becomes our health and surviving retirement. We all want to be loved and that is the most important thing in life. We should seek to maintain good friendships even with family members or the people with whom we are already connected. Being married is the "icing on the cake"  of a good life. Seek to learn how to live well and marriage may or may not be an outcome. You just need to be READY when it comes!

So there you have it...The Marriage House is built on a firm foundation, you have done your decorating homework and you are ready to move in, right? Wait we forgot something...YOU HAVE TO FIND A MATE! Don't worry...if you've done everything correctly, YOUR MATE WILL FIND YOU!

 If it is meant to be...it will be.