BUT,...WHAT IF I'M GAY...??

BUT...WHAT IF I AM GAY???

I purposely, stayed away from discussing issues related to people who choose to be involved with those of their same sex for a good reason. The reason is NOT because I am homophobic or that I do not like gay people.  The reason is that I believe that whomever you choose to have sex with is essentially YOUR BUSINESS. Heterosexuals don't (and they shouldn't) go around telling people what they do in their bedrooms all day long. They could be hanging from the ceiling, wearing costumes, using whips and chains...whatever! I really couldn't care less...UNLESS... they are involving small children, their grandparents or their pets. THAT kind of behavior is illegal and abnormal, so those people need to be reported to the authorities or they should go to see a psychiatrist, immediately! Otherwise, sex is an ADULT (over 18 y/o please), PRIVATE ACTIVITY that should remain behind closed doors. 

I am a truly liberated and a very sexual creature, but I do not (I repeat)...I do not need to go around shaking my ass or riding on a wrecking ball like (you know who) like some kind of sex-maniac just to prove to anybody that I have a body or that I am old enough to have sex. Whatever! I am thoroughly appalled at the pictures that people are taking these days of their asses, and the so-called new dance called "twerking." It is not new at all and we've been doing it for centuries. It's really called having simulated sex standing up while the music is playing! Duh! It is as tasteless and vulgar today as it was 50 years ago when my parents were doing it...and they called it "Doing the Dog." So, you see... young people always think that they invented stuff that's been around for ages just because their hormones have started pumping and THEY'VE never seen it or done it before.

But, seriously ---the whole issue of gay marriage is personal and political and, I cannot or should not voice my personal opinions about whether or not homosexuality is "NORMAL."   My short answer is that it may be normal, according to today's standards...but is it RIGHT? That's the main question. That is a whole different can of worms and I am not going to go there in this forum. What I will say is this: People come together in RELATIONSHIPS for different reasons (recall my previous statements on KARMA AND REINCARNATION) and a homosexual relationship may be merely their particular soul's way of working out past KARMA. That's all I have to say about it, right now.  I will let you do the research on how our souls choose to present themselves to the world in regards to its intended sexuality and leave it at that.

In reference to all the other elements of marriage...everything else is the same and may be even more important. Gay people, in general, have unusual EMOTIONAL issues that heterosexual people may not have... related to how the society or family members (especially the families) accepts their chosen lifestyle or not. This aspect of people's relationships is very important because it is also something that interracial couples, interfaith couples, and intercultural couples deal with, but not  to extent that gay couples do. That is because interracial dating or intercultural dating, for example, is not CONDEMNED OR FORBIDDEN by the society, in general.  When you are forced to face the strong and sometimes dangerous or violent condemnation of how you feel about another human whom you happen to love, it takes a huge toll on the emotional stability of not only the partners, but it threatens to destroy the relationship from the beginning.  I have faced being shunned by my family for dating someone whom they believed was UNWORTHY of my affections, or beneath me in stature, however no one has ever threatened to KILL them, or do serious physical harm to them if I didn't stop seeing them or didn't choose to divorce them.  This type of emotional firestorm is potentially super destructive in and of itself, without having to deal with the other person's personality flaws, financial situation or spiritual beliefs, also.

If your intended partner is struggling with their sexual identity, or how they are or are not being accepted in the world, I would suggest that the two of you get counseling just like any other couple who is coping with serious emotional issues. I have found that gay couples have a lot more problems with ANGER issues and FINANCIAL problems related to how they make or spend their money. I have also found that celebrity couples have similar issues related to their anger or how their mates handle money. This is exactly the reason why I said in the beginning, that this advice has NOTHING to do with how much money you have, what you look like, or what you do for a living. EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS are emotional problems regardless of where you come from, or where you are going in this life.

Homosexuals AND celebrity couples also must deal with more Sexually Transmitted Disease issues because of the fact that they have more opportunities to be EXPOSED to those diseases than most other people. When a person decides that they either want to be a celebrity or marry a celebrity, you will have to make some very special and specific decisions concerning how you are going to handle the UNWANTED OR UNWARRANTED SEXUAL ATTENTION that you or your mate will get. Celebrities have higher divorce rates mainly because of their ego, and financial or infidelity issues. I am not so sure that I would want to marry someone like a Denzel Washington or LeBron James mainly because my ego could not take the attention that the other women would shower on them  And, should I become a major celebrity, my husband would have to be secure in his own manhood, and my love for him enough to KNOW that our love was rock solid.

But, getting back to gay people who must also consider raising or having children...this difficult issue must be faced early on in the relationship because (with all due respect ) "spit don't make babies." This is probably THE most important issue outside of finances or anger because this decision usually involves the opinions and desires of THE EXTENDED FAMILY.  A person who has children already and discovers their true sexuality later, runs the very real risk of losing their children in custody battles either before or after the pending divorce. Mothers (it's usually the grandmothers for some reason) who want grandchildren, pressure their gay children to get help with their "problem" so they can have babies like everyone else. School age children are bullied for having gay parents and straight teenagers wrestle with defining their own sexuality, and wonder if they will become like their gay parent. This is why EXTENSIVE COUNSELING is absolutely necessary to prevent suicides, runaways, violence, financial devastation, incarceration and a whole host of other problems that MUST be addresses BEFORE two gay people can decide whether they want to get married or not.

AGAIN, if these issues are not and cannot be resolved...YOU MUST REMAIN FRIENDS. Unless you just don't give a rat's ass about what anybody else thinks and your love is strong enough to endure all the harassment that you are surely bound to get!

Just remember: "All that glitters is not gold" and "You can't judge a book by it's cover."